The next adult adventure

Another loop in the roller coaster of adult life a’waits – buying a house.
We sign Friday, and move on Saturday. Yes, the Saturday in four days!!!!

I’m so excited. JD is so excited. He has already started putting stuff in boxes. Stuff that I’ve already had to un-pack because we still need it, but still, he’s trying to get ahead.

But first – let’s rewind on a few details.

The search -
I am stunned it only took three months or so. I was fully expecting more frustration, indecision, haggling, finagling, negotiating, looking, hoping, cursing ……but then…. we realized we didn’t really have much choice. If we wanted to buy, we would have to leave Rouen; and JD (a.k.a. city dweller par excellence) swallowed the bitter pill really, really, really well.

At first we both thought, oh so foolishly, that we could go out about 5 kilometres and be okay. Well, 5 turned into 10, which turned into 15 which turned into 25. And boy did we learn a lot about the geography surrounding Rouen.

Normandy Geography –
The Seine starts from the English Channel (almost due west of Rouen), turns north (meanders a bit) then does a 180 to flow south (meanders a bit), then does a 180 to re-meander north, then…you get the idea. So, the Seine is really sinuous and eventually it makes it to Rouen. Rouen is situated on the “top” of one of the meandering arches. We will be moving west and a tinge north to a town called Saint Paer which is 4kms north of the town Duclair which is a town situated on the top of the nearest meandering arch to the west. Confused? Try looking up St. Paer (postal code (76480) or Rouen (postal code 76000) on Mappy – you’ll see the wiggly Seine and understand better.
(sidenote – Here in Rouen we also have the “right bank” vs. “left bank” dichotomy. In Paris the “left bank” is snooty; here it’s the opposite. That said, J.D. was insistant about moving entirely out of Rouen as opposed to moving to the “lesser side of the Seine” a.k.a. suburbia à la française. And really, I could only agree)

The landscape -
It took ooooodles of years –give or take a few- for the Seine to cut through the flint (a type of stone. HA! The flintstone! Ha ha ha) and chalk that makes up the earth in Normandy. Who says river cutting through the land says steep, vertical, cliff-esque landscapes. Which is why you have the beautiful white cliffs overlooking the sea at Etretat for example. This of course I didn’t really remember when looking for houses. We saw a few houses with gardens at 60° angles. Sure there’s land but you can’t do anything with it. Not enjoy a backyard bbq that’s for sure. Nope, no thank you – the flatter the better. At another house I asked where her vegetable garden was; she rambled on about not being able to make anything grow because all the land underneath her sparse spindly grass was just like (she points up) that. “That” being a two story cliff-like overhang at the edge of her property made up of sandwiched layers of clay, chalk and flint. Not the best elements for garden growing. Fortunately for me she was an honest gabber.

So – let’s resume how the search started to get complicated.
Have to take into account crossing the Seine to get to work; so which side would be better? (because there’s only so many bridges and way too many commuters).
Next, have to take into account garden size (I wanted bigger and bigger every time I visited - I said I wanted garden, so from then on no rinky-dinky patch of grass would do. I wanted big. Garden party for 100? Okay. Want to play football in the yard? No problem. Large enough for a pack of future Belgian Shepards and maybe a sheep? Easy)
Next, have to take into account if the land is flat or not (much of Normandy isn’t).
Next, have to take into account all the adult type stuff (price, is it on a flood plane, heating system, how much construction, is it already liveable, property taxes, blah, blah, blah, etc, etc, etc).

I’m amazed we found something – Mr. Limited Budget may I introduce you to Mr. Big Ideas? Have you meet before? No? Well that’s okay, we’ll let you two duke it out because someone will be leaving the arena of possibilities. Indeed, compromise reigned supreme.

The good news is this:
I got the garden I wanted (rich, gorgeous, fertile, everything-grows-here soil), the small town I wanted (1,400 habitants – it even has a school!), we got some extra rooms (3 bedrooms), we got the seclusion (we’re the last house and the end of two dead end roads – so if you drive past our house you drive right into agricultural fields – no passing traffic! Heaven!), and we got a very nice, beautiful, all the best of Normandy, area. And, the house is a wood house! Meaning very easy to work on (we’ll be cutting a wall or two out) and eventually add on to!

The icky news is this:
every square inch of floor, wall, ceiling, plumbing, tiles, cabinetry, patio, and any other random surface you can think of, MUST be “refreshed” as the French like to say. Well, maybe for our housewarming party we’ll have a disco theme and invite the house – because she’s already dressed to the nines! You should see the kitchen cabinets. Not even trendy I-can-sell-this-to-a-seventies-crazy-collector-and-make-some-money seventies. Hideous. And mismatched to boot.
The other icky news is that my 15 minute commute will turn into a 50 minute commute. So at the moment I have got to get a more economical car. If I keep what I have I will quadruple my monthly gas expenditure. And I already pay 30 euros a week. The math makes my bank account ill.

The other other icky news – (for you faithful readers of H.T.E.N.)
I’m not feeling so anxious about posting the “before” pictures until I have some “after” pictures to make you go “oohhhh” and “aahhhhh” and “isn’t that amazing?”. I might reconsider about showing pictures of the garden though.
EEEhhhh maybe just one picture of the hideous 70s floor tiles....as a cheap plea for simpathy....

So, the next six months for me will mean when I’m not working I’ll be in overalls and my hot little hands will be manipulating either a tape measure, garden hoe, ruler, lawn mower, pencil, wheelbarrow, paintbrush, compost pile, drill, pruning sheers, table saw, and on and on and on. I can’t wait! I can't wait, I can't wait!