Christmas

well, what to say about christmas.....

the in-laws came, JD's grandmom came over from Portugal as a surprise! and JD's dad brought lots of libations, and JD's mom came with a huge leg of lamb (i loooove lamb), and JD's brother came as well.

JD's grandmother coming as a surprise was lovely, JD is quite close to her and it's always good to see them together
for my part, i never had any grandparents of my own, so i have a strange tendency to adopt elderly people as the grandparent i never had.
and she is a pip. she speaks no french or english, i speak about ten words of portugese (but i'm understanding better and better)
but what i love about her is that she talks to me all the same. she looks right at me and smiles an talks and has an almost conversation with me. needless to say i've become an expert in the art of portugese nodding (which isn't the same as anglophone nodding) and saying the portugese eqivalent to "yes, right, uh huh, absolutely"

this is her doing some dishes: one thing for sure, portugese people roll up there sleeves and get right in it! no formalities really.














And the whole bunch (jd is taking the picture)
yes i know i look icky, i didn't feel like putting fouth much effort. and there you have it.














and last but not least the kitchy photo of manteiga and the christmas tree


and so what did i get for x-mas you ask?
HA!
remember in the blog entry about jd i wrote that he is much more generous than i?
well he got me a laptop. a super duper HP with wifi and the lot.
now i need to learn how to use it..... my computer skills are not the greatest.
and really, it order to do the present justice i need to learn how to use it to it's fullest.
so, i'm trying...
oh, and JD's grandmom gave me a table cloth ( a very pretty one and i was very happy to get it because stainless pretty tablecloths cost a fortune here)

and jd's bro gave me a wireless mouse to go with my new pc. cool huh?!

my appliances don't love me

Have i told you about my bad applicances karma? which is now spreading?


It goes back about a year ago. A year ago four days before new years (and JD and i were hosting 20 or so people chez nous) our refrigerator went kaput. As it was a cheap frige to begin with, and repair men here are so astronomically expensive, we opted to get a new one.
Now anyone that knows me knows that I hate spending large sums of money for un-fun stuff. So in addition to the spending of money i don't want to spend, i take a rediculously long time to make my mind up and go around to every possible store comparing prices and torturing myself.
Torture like this for example : Well if i'm going to spend anyway why don't i get a really good one? then i look at the really expensive ones, only to decide a bit later that i don't need to spend that much and i end up going back to the beginning of looking at the less expensive ones only to work my way back up to the more expensive ones.
And this merry go round of indecision can also focus on the very simple piddly details.
It's a miracle i can decide sometimes.

So around i went to about four stores, decided on a store, decided on a fridge then decided JD had to see it because after all, that's just what couples do, they show the potential fridge to the other.
So in a hurried whirl after his work (everything here closes at 7pm) we went, he approved, we bought (plus the extra 80 something euros for the extended warentee which i hadn't calculated on in the final price)
Now delivery? HA! remember we are four days before new year's eve.
yeah, they only had new year's eve day. better than nothing.
but i must insist - a party isn't a party without cocktails and shots. and for coctails and shots you need ice, and for ice you need a freezer which comes with the fridge.
well........... all's well that end's well. ice was had by everyone and the new year's party was fab.

However the story doesn't stop here - oh no.
a few months later our stove took a hint. the oven wouldn't stay lit. annoying when you have to stand there holding the button for the fifteen minutes it takes for a frozen pizza.
To make a long story short - the range was under warantee - a guy came out and fixed it - that lasted two weeks - another guy came out fixed it again - it broke again - same guy came out fixed it again - broke again.
Here is the delightful irony (in two parts)
1. it was exactly the same problem and i knew by the third time it wouldn't be fixed and i called the store trying to convice them to give us a new oven explaining that it would break again, andof couse they said they couldn't possibly give us a new oven in place of one almost three years old while it was fully functionning.
2. when it didn't stay fully functionning -it broke a fourth time- the three year warantee had expired.
HA!
I bought the fridge, JD bought the new range.

Does it stop there? you ask.
if it did i wouldn't be writting this.

The next of our appliances to kick the bucket was the washing machine. given it was about ten years old i can kinda understand. The frustrating part is that it was a simple stupid problem, however repair men are a forture and everyone we asked said they weren't sure it was a problem that would stay fixed HA!
This is about a week before the in-laws are coming for christmas and the machine had not been working for about two weeks. the laundry mountains were accumulating to say the least.

This time i decided to do things the easy way! the internet!
Well the same vicious circle of going from cheap machines to pricey machines back to the cheaper ones, only to go back to the more expensive ones took me an entire morning.
And what IS the most important? The flash wash option or a good brand name? the hightst spinning speed or the number of programs? A special wool cycle or a delayed wash option?
hell i tell you. compounded by the fact i hate spending money on un-fun things.
So i finally decided and clicked to buy...... and....... the page wasn't functioning.
well, i hit the backspace arrow and tried again, no luck, i backpaged and did it again.
no luck.

a funny aside : so the next day i found out i was debited for three washing machines (plus the one i actually bought) at the tune of1050 euros. HA!
good thing i've got overdraft protection!

so, after the apparently unfunctionning site i changed sites and ordered a different machine from a different site (after a few more hours on the merry go round of comparative shopping)
click! ordered! delivery supposedly two days before x-mas. the good news is we got it early! EARLY can you imagine!
i did two loads a day for four days straight.

now,
we are equipped with a new washing machine, range and fridge. what next?
the car.
HA!
fortunately this is simple the battery is dead, and i knew this was coming. it just got too cold for it to keep on.

i buy a new battery (done), and a socket wrench and replace it myself.
after the adventure of trying to find a cheap socket wrench in France i finally found one.
step two - replace it.
HA!
it's so badly placed in the motor i can get the socket wrench on the nuts but i have NO space for jiggling the handle to unscrew the nuts holding it in place.
HA!
As i sit here typing.... i have a friend stuck somewhere between here and paris on a snowed in expressway..... she's my friend with a car who can give me a jump(whew - i already have jumper cables) and follow me to the garage where they can replace my badly placed battery. Bet they have good socket wrenches.
there will be no jump today. tomorrow? dunno. tomorrow is christmas eve day.

So the moral to this long winded story is that -
1. i'm sick of something always going wrong
2. don't try to buy a cheap socket wrench in France
3. when one of your appliances goes kaput, don't let the others know why their friend is being taken away and being replaced, they'll get jealous.
4. People in France are unbelievably uncapable of dealing with snow. (this so makes me laugh coming from chicago)
and last but not least 5. I'm happy that the other appliances that could possibly go kaput now are only the small ones: hairdryer, hand mixer, water boiling pot......

HA! i forgot to mention that sometime between the oven and the washing machine our computer exploded in october! it was under warantee so that was nice, fixed up like new it was.

Executive decisions and complaints

Decisions that make me happy....
So, my friend's band is playing tonight at the pub which is only a five minute walk from my apt. and for the last hour and a half i've been mentally preparing myself to go. then i just came up with the radical idea, and the executive decision, not to go. all my friends are there, and my man (he's the manager for the band) and i just can't get it together to leave my apt. am i getting old? these days i can find too many reasons not to go out and too many to stay in. honestly, is it really that i'm 30 going on 50? but i know some 50 somethings who put me to shame!
anyway, my pyjamas are only seconds away and that book on my end table gathering dust....i'll have to undust it.


As for the executive complaints-
i have lived in france for six years now. i love it but the honeymoon is over. and this feeling of missing the states is (this time anyway) for the most commercial of reasons.
simply put- i miss being able to buy cool stuff for not expensive. oh let me count the ways
target, t.j. max, filene's basement, walgreens and on and on and on. let me give you some petty examples.
i like to use real ribbon sometimes on my presents. there isn't a so-fro or jo-ann fabrics store here. what i'm saying is i can't find big spools of ribbon. you can find ribbon don't get me wrong, but you have to buy it by the meter.
GIMME THE GODDAM SPOOL!
and i want choice - i was at our local equivalent of Wal-mart and they were selling spools of okay christmas-y ribbon (the skinny fake scratchy synthetic stuff) for 2euros for 2meters. don't do the calculation, it's ridiculous. i wrapped three presents with that ribbon.
and wrapping paper! ohh pretty wrapping paper, you can go anywhere in the states and get wrapping paper that is pretty and cheap and in like fifteen foot rolls. here the sheets are not very long and choosing the prettiest of the lot is not always easy.
CRAP I SAY! GIMME PRETTY WRAPPING PAPER!
yes this is the voice of frustration. and of course my happiness doesn't hinge on ribbon and wrapping paper, but it would be nice not to feel sometimes like i live in a second world country (i couldnt say third world, that would have been a bit insulting for those who DO live in a third world country)

one last indulgence - slippers. slippers in the winter are capital.
to illustrate : yesterday while i was experiencing super christmas shopping frustration i was in a boutique that sells fun wacky items, sorry i can't be more specific than that. and there they were, slippers in the forms of animals. they had bears, st.bernards and one other. but the moral of the story is that you can get those in the states at payless for cryin' out loud. here they were in a cute boutique like they were some exotic unfindable item. and yes they were a bit pricey.
GIMME SOME GODDAM CUTE ANIMAL SLIPPERS!
which reminds me in college i had some slippers that were sheep, cute as anything and so warm. not to mention that both pairs of slippers i have here have come from the states.
apparently this is not a country for finding a large variety of slippers. but you know, when you want something....you want it. period. this is where my frustration comes from.
so maybe next x-mas i'll try to come home. i've done six here, maybe it's time.

i won't go any further with my petty commercial christmas wonton-ness..... i have pajamas that are calling.

thank you cyber space for being mine, if only for a moment.

lost consonants

I came accross these when i was teaching english briefly at Inlingua in Le Havre. Apparently now the books of postcards by this guy, Graham Rawle, are no longer being printed and cost a fortune, i knew i should of snagged one while i had the chance..... anyway you can find some on the internet, which i did. enjoy.
funny how a little missing letter can be the cause of so much laughter.
some say i'm easy to please........

"Common sense is not so common" Voltaire

Words from Voltaire

Francois-Marie Arouet was born on this date in 1694. The son of a notary, he took the name Voltaire in 1726, upon his second release from prison. His first imprisonment had resulted from an unjust accusation that Voltaire had insulted the French regent; the second came about because Voltaire had directed his devastating wit toward the wrong man, a well-connected royal whose lettre de cachet sent him back to the Bastille.

Voltaire's imprisonments did not silence him, but rumblings of a third arrest warrant moved him to relocate in a castle bordering the independent duchy of Lorraine.

But enough about the life of the philosopher who is considered to personify the Enlightenment: let's revel in his words.

The term Voltairianism is applied to a skeptical but deistic religious attitude, opposition to intolerance, and castigation of bigotry. Keep that in mind as you consider these thoughts from the writer.

Voltaire pointed out, "Common sense is not so common," and that "The man who leaves money to charity in his will is only giving away what no longer belongs to him." He observed, "There is a wide difference between speaking to deceive, and being silent to be impenetrable"; and that "Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd." We close with a quintessential Voltaire epigram: "A witty saying proves nothing."

your vocabulary word for today is....

bumbershoot • \BUM-ber-shoot\ noun : umbrella

Example sentence:
As the light sprinkle gradually turned into steady rain, Uncle Winston said, "I'm glad I remembered to carry my bumbershoot!"

Did you know?
Umbrellas have plenty of nicknames. In Britain, "brolly" is a popular alternative to the more staid "umbrella." Sarah Gamp, a fictional nurse who toted a particularly large umbrella in Charles Dickens' novel Martin Chuzzlewit, has inspired some English speakers to dub oversize versions "gamps." "Bumbershoot" is a predominantly American nickname, one that has been recorded as a whimsical, slightly irreverent handle for umbrellas since the late 1890s. As with most slang terms, the origins of "bumbershoot" are a bit foggy, but it appears that the "bumber" is a modification of the "umbr-" in "umbrella" and the "shoot" is an alteration of the "-chute" in "parachute" (since an open parachute looks a little like an umbrella).


Good god i love english, when words like this exist.....well...... it just makes me want to use 'em!

mon homme

Well, for those of you who haven't had the pleasure..... friends, here is mon homme, jean-daniel. since a picture is worth a thousand words (the french don't have this expression sadly enough) i'll make it short.
among many things, thanks to him i have discovered the pleasures of breakfast in bed, portugal - whenever he speaks portugese i do that fish called wanda thing, and a latin man's ways. he is much more generous than i, much more faithful to his family than i, and takes more time in the shower in the mornings than i. and he is the first man i have ever lived with. february will be the third anniversary of us moving in together. time flies huh?

What i miss... and what i would miss...

I do love where I live but I would also like to take a few minutes to remember what I miss about home – here goes- in no particular order :

• Big bottles of Tobasco sauce (they only have little bottles here, i go through them way too fast; and the don’t have the green tobasco) and just in general the large variety of hot sauces offered at any grocery store.

• Any type of food delivered to your door (in Rouen i have the choice of pizza or sushi – not the largest selection admittedly)

• Shots – the good lord knows, and my good friends, that I love a good tasty shot from time to time. And really, who doesn’t need a tequila night from time to time? (people here are too reasonable; it goes along with their “Descartes” way of doing things
  
  
• which brings me to tequila - Mexico is not next door. You can't even find the good stuff. The best I can get is José gold. can you imagine? What's a girl to do during margarita season?!?
  

• 24 hour anything and everything (maybe if the larger cities in France adopted this they wouldn’t still have an almost 10 percent unemployment rate; huummmm...)

• Diners-especially 24 hour diners at three in the morning- and especially skillets. Three words, yum yum yum. And especially in an attempt to thwart the potential hangover, as well as for greasy hangover relief food. Croissants don’t do squat for hangovers ladies and gentlemen.

• Cosmopolitains- yum, yum, yum, yum (they don't have the cranberry juice, or cranberries over here)

• Thanksgiving – and reasonably big sized turkeys. I told my bucher to get me the biggest he could find, it was a measly 3.4 kilos. That’s about seven pounds. It was a runt.

• More and more smoke free places – i like clean air. Period.

• Mexian food – most notably the enormous bags of good authentic chips and salsa you can find.

• No T.V. tax - yes it is known that the french love to tax; so they have a t.v. tax as well. every year every household must pay 120 euros for the right to have a t.v. Of course they say it' s to help provide us with quality programs (well last tuesday they did show Bowling for Columbine). But in the end i hate paying just because i have a television.
  

• cheap stuff - if you ever need anything; whatever it is you can always find a cheaper version of it somewhere. not always the case here.
  

And inversely here’s what I would miss if i lived in the states:

• Perrier – and they even have another type of water called Eau de Perrier; the bubbles are finer and less sharp. Yes I'm addicted.

• The georgous church down the street from me and the park behind it – the church has flying buttresses and everything

• Homeopathic medicine – you can find it at any pharmacy and pharmacies are everywhere; and it’s cheap!

• A large variety of political parties; it makes politics so much more interesting and less.... two dimentional if you know what i mean.

• The Sunday market by my house – I take my little red apple covered, grandama, wheely cart and go just about every Sunday. Fruits, vegetables, cheese, snails, eggs, junk, antiques, clothes, knick knacks, butter, fish, huge walls of spitting chickens roasting on their rotissery racks, recipe advice from the produce sellers, furniture (the desk my computer is sitting on is wood, old and from the market), crooked bronze candle holders, seafood, garlic (at least four different types), salad (at least six different types), organic wine, oysters, farm fresh squeezed apple juice, bread (countless types), plants, teas, mussels, flowers, soap, running into friends, and when the weather permits sitting ouside in the sun and having a crisp glass of white, and the best of the best, what i wait all year for: the first cherries of the season piled up high in enormous pyramids and each one a little shiny peace of heaven.

• Do i even need to mention champagne and wine? didn't think so

• L'apero - Aperitif in franglais - the infamous before dinner drink with little snack-y type things. oh how i do love l'apero.
  

When to drink tea

This was a poem on a teashop in Aix-en Provence

When to drink tea

At lost hours

When poetry bores you

When thoughts are confused

When you tap to the rhythm and sing

When the music stops

When you live away

When you adore spending time with letters

In conversation late at night

When you study in the light of day

In the wedding chambers

When retaining choice hosts

When receiving letters or pretty girls

When you visit friends after returning from a long voyage

In georgous weather

When the skies get heavy with clouds

When you watch a boat slip through a canal

In the middle of trees and bamboo

When the flowers start to blossom and the birds chirp

On hot days close to a pond with lotus blossoms

While burning insense in the courtyard

While tipsy after the guests have left

When the youngest ones are out

To visit hidden temples

While contemplating the sources and the rocks in a landscape

A quel moment boire le thé

Aux heures perdues
Lorsque la poésie vous ennuie
Que les pensées sont confuses
Lorsque l’on bat la mesure en écoutant chanter
Lorsque la musique s’arrête
Lorsque l’on vit retiré
Lorsqu’on jouit des passe-temps de lettres
En conversation tard dans la nuit
Lorsque l’on étudie par un jour de soleil
Dans la chambre nuptiale
En retenant des hôtes de choix
En recevant des lettres ou de jolies filles
Lorsque l’on rend visite à des amis de retour d’un long voyage
Part temps superbe
Lorsque les cieux s’assombrissent
Lorsque l’on regarde les bateaux glisser sur le canal
Au milieu des arbres et des bambous
Lorsque les fleurs commencent à éclore et que pépient les oiseaux
Par de chaudes journées, près d’un étang lotus
En brûlant de l’encens dans la cour
Après qu’enivrés les hôtes soient partis
Lorsque les plus jeunes sont sortis
Pour visiter des temples retirés
En contemplant des sources et des roches formant tableau

p.s. and like now, it's sooo cold in my house i can't feel my fingers anymore